


The Five Stages of Grief

by Queen_Of_Naps



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Five Stages of Grief, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 14:08:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20211028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Of_Naps/pseuds/Queen_Of_Naps
Summary: Pepper has to make the transition of living in a world without Tony Stark.





	The Five Stages of Grief

**Author's Note:**

> this isn't really edited for grammar or spelling. i may go back later and edit some, but for now it is what it is.

Pepper holds Tony’s hand. Despite her own heart crumbling inside of her, she put on a brave face for Tony, Morgan, Peter, even for the world. Pepper had to be strong. She needed Tony to know the world would be okay now. He could rest. She watches the light fade from his eyes. She places on last kiss upon the face of the man she’s love for so long. Only when she hears the whisper of his last breath does she allow herself to cry. 

_ Denial.  _

For two weeks, Pepper doesn’t turn on the TV. At first it was for Morgan’s benefit. She didn’t want Morgan anymore confused about what had happened to her dad. Deep down she knows that avoiding the topic just makes it that much easier to convince herself that it’s not real. It can’t be real. This wasn’t the life they had planned together.

When she wakes up, she can almost feel his arms wrapped around her. He hadn’t been a very cuddly sleeper until he came back from space. Having to face possibly never seeing Pepper again had made him cling to her even more in their intimate moments. It had been difficult to adjust to, but she would take being held like stuffed bear over the emptiness filling his side of the bed. The deafening silence without his light snores was unbearable, and she was tempted to move Morgan into the bed with her. But it was almost morning, and if she wakes up Morgan now then the day just has to start that much sooner.

Then, she realizes she can’t deny Tony is gone, even though she wants to. 

_ Anger _

She hates humanity. The world didn’t deserve him. She can’t push that thought of her mind. He gave so much of himself, more than he ever truly gave to her, and then was taken from so relentlessly. He saved the world, and yet he wouldn’t see the little girl who has his eyes grow into a beautiful woman with his mind. When she thinks about it, her fists ball up so tight she feels a tinge of pain then warmth as blood soaks her fingertips. 

She’s mad at Tony for being such a hero. She entertains ideas of the Avengers not really needing Tony. Eventually they would’ve figured it out with him, even though she knows this isn’t true. 

Mostly  she’s mad at herself. She pressed him gently to become the hero she saw him as. She watched him save the world so many times he last count, but never thought he would extend to saving the universe. 

The anger boiling in her chest keeps her awake for three nights. The only thing stopping her from doing something rash is Morgan. Part of her resents having to always be the strong one, the logical one. Just once she wants to lose her cool, but she doesn’t. Deep down she knows that Pepper Stark doesn’t have it in her to be anything but logical. So, she lives through the anger without burning the house down.

_ Bargaining _

She’s still not sleeping. On the fifth night of broken sleep, she stares at the ceiling until an idea strikes her. What if they could bring him back? They brought back half the universe, surely one man could be resurrected. She calls the only person still alive who could attempt to figure it out. 

Bruce Banner answers the phone despite the fact the sun hasn’t even risen yet. It takes Pepper a moment to gain her voice. She sits up in bed, one hand holding the phone while the other nervously pulls the stitching at her quilt. 

“I’m sorry to wake you, Dr. Banner,” she says finally.

“It’s fine, I was already awake.” 

She considers keeping up the niceties, but decides to cut straight to the point. 

“I want to bring Tony back. I know there’s a way, there has to be a way.” She sounds more desperate than she intends, but she is desperate. 

“I can’t say I haven’t thought of it myself, but there just isn’t a way-” 

“Of course there’s a way!” Tears stream down her face. 

“I’m sorry, Pepper. I really am. I’ve crunched the numbers for him and Nat, but we just have to accept they’re gone.” 

A pang of guilt hit her in the gut. She feels so selfish for putting this on Bruce when he lost someone too. 

“He just can’t be gone.” 

_ Depression _

Pepper went from not sleeping to sleeping too much. Her mother eventually flies in to help her with Morgan. Although, it ended up being not so much helping as it was doing. Pepper stays in bed for the better part of three weeks. She gets up to eat sometimes, and showers only at her mother’s insistence. More often than not she simply sits on the floor while the water falls over her. Morgan tries to cheer her up. She brings her drawings or toys. Sometimes she just lays beside Pepper in bed, holding her hand. 

Pepper tries to not to think if she can help. She tries to stay numb, but then one day she drops their wedding picture on the floor by accident. Then it all bubbles to the surface. She cries and screams and curses until her throat hurts. Her mother keeps Morgan outside so that Morgan doesn’t see her break. 

It such a relief to finally feel the pain, wholly and without restraint. 

_ Acceptance _

Tony died the only way he could: a hero. Every person in the universe was reunited with at least one loved on because of his bravery. When the monuments start being built in his honor, there is sadness but there is also pride. Sometimes she’s asked to speak about Tony. It’s not until the large memorial for Tony is put up in New York that she finally accepts an invitation. 

She stands in front of the crowd, all eyes and lenses on her. Morgan stands beside Pepper, holding her hand. 

“There’s nothing I can truly say to you to convey the man we’re all here to honor. Tony Stark was,in his own words: a genius, playboy, philanthropist. He was always so hesitant to call himself a hero. Yet he held the burdens of this world on his shoulders. He felt every loss and every tragedy as if it was his own. The betterment of humanity was his main goal. If that’s not a hero, than I don’t know what is.” She turns to look up at the new, glistening monument with tears stinging her eyes. “I love you, Tony.” 


End file.
